When you miss him

or miss the times you had, the memories shared, think about how he wasn't giving you what you wanted. All you wanted was his time. You were ready to offer him your world, but he wasn't willing to compromise his. Remember that, and remember why you are so much better and happier off without him. Give yourself a little more credit, D. It takes two to keep a relationship alive and you couldn't have gone on any longer pretending you were okay with everything.  If he was willing to make time for his new friends and position, he should have found the time to treat you like a queen, the girl who's always been there for him even though everyone else knew she deserved better. And he fail to realize that, so forget the loser and find someone better. You can do better. Never settle, and never forget the lessons this has taught you.

Merry Christmas.

Advice from a friend

"Whoever he likes shouldn't be on your mind anymore you've moved on, and even though you may always have some feelings for him, there is no reason why you should dislike her. You dislike the fact that he likes her, but she hasn't done anything. I know it's hard, but if you are really ok with you and him being apart, you KNOW he isn't the right one for you, so any girl he is with is of no relevance to you. And if you look on the flip side, she might feel a bit uncomfortable around you too so I don't think you should spend energy hating her."

"They said it's important to surround yourself with people who make you happy. people who make you laugh, who help you when you're in need. So cheers to the friend who picked me up when my heart was shattered, who watched me struggled and cried, and never gave up on me. I owe so much of my happiness and success to the love you have blessed me with. May you have the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how incredible and special you truly are." -KPD

I saw this caption on instagram and knew I had to record it to remember it forever. Beautifully written.

Dear No One

I like being independent
Not so much of an investment
No one to tell me what to do
I like being by myself
Don’t gotta entertain anybody else
No one to answer to

But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold
Someone to give me their jacket when its cold
Got that young love even when we’re old
Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand
Pick me up, pull me close, be my man
I will love you till the end

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you
But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone
Cause when the time is right
You’ll be here, but for now
Dear no one, this is your love song

I’d love to have a soul mate. God will give him to me someday & I know it’ll be worth the wait.

Makes me happy

It's really interesting how my parents back then were the kinds of people who didn't have any plans on a Saturday night. All they did was work, eat tai chi and sleep. And take us to school and shop with us. I use to think the sole purpose of their life was just for my brother and I. Day by day, it was always the same routine.

Now that Daniel and I have grown up, my parents are even busier than I am! They have so many socials and events, it's kinda crazy! It's weird to call my mom and have her tell me that she just got back from san diego or she and dad just got back from a house party...LOL what? I know I'm not around as much, and that I'm shaping my own life...but  it's weird to see her and dad move on too! It's like we're constantly changing as a family. I'm slowly growing as a person and she as well, but in different aspects. My parents are learning to enjoy life (they never went out much even before they made a family) with their friends, temple and my brother and I are doing big things too. It's amazing to think about all of that in retrospect. It makes me really happy that they are having fun, doing new things, challenging themselves, living every day to the fullest. I'm just happy and grateful they still love me so much even though I'm like the worst daughter in the world. I'm just in a very grateful and happy mood lately and it's quite nice. Blessed with the best.

Progress

My progress this past week has been surprisingly...good! It's been since four days since I've stumbled across your tumblr. I just didn't have any urges too, I guess. I mean, wednesday night I was about to type in the url, and then I stopped myself. Because I felt weird in my stomach and I realize I didn't need to know last night what you've been up to. And just right now, this morning, I literally had the url in the url bar. All I had to do was click enter and it would redirect me there. But for some reason, I exited the window. Maybe it's finally working. I really don't need to know what you are up to and your whereabouts. Maybe being hurt sunday night was the final straw? it sure didn't feel like it, but since then I realize I just didn't care. It hurts too much to know and I'm better not knowing. :)

First family dorm dinner on tuesday was a HUGE success!! I literally wanted to cry when I saw everyone's happy faces...ZOMG. And I ran into someone that I once knew and we started talking on facebook! LOL, it's nothing really. but the fact that someone actually wanted to talk, and that I could carry on a conversation gives me hope that I can meet new people who are interested in talking to me. Also, I got a job offer yesterday afternoon! No longer unemployed, bitch! :D I guess I made a lasting impression on my interviewer. They were interviewing a bunch of people and only hiring one, and they asked legitimate interview questions too, that I wasn't quite prepared for. But like Limbroco said, just be yourself. I wouldn't tell this to a lot of people, but for you, be yourself. He probably has no idea how his words impacted my attitude towards interviews.. LOL but I was actually myself this time. Captivating, thrilled, genuine, it was like having a real conversation with my interviewer and I was totally laxed. Maybe I can do this. Plus, it totally pays more than my old job that I worked my ass off for! Also, we presented our project ideas in lab yesterday as well and I think I did a pretty damn good job. I looked at audience, was my genuine self, it's getting there. My kaplan pcat book finally arrived too! Just got to get into my last ochem lab next quarter and life might as well be on its way up. Plus its Halloween today. Finally piecing my life back together and I know i'm meant for bigger and better things. What happens from here on out is mine and mine alone. It isn't shared with another person; I'm gonna wait for the one that challenges me to try harder and someone who fully appreciates me.

keep forward

Sometimes it hurts more than it should. But just know you are in a much better place now, and you can't go back. There's nothing to go back to. And yes, the months may have passed, but you miss him all the same. but slowly the hurt gets easier to deal and soon, he won't cross your mind at all. Baby steps, you need to take baby steps. know your worth and know you are destined for bigger and better things. this entire week may have been a step or two back, but sometimes we fall short. But most of the time, you will make it thru and you'll be able to take 2453583459 steps forward without looking back. you will make it there, dee. Trust.