Still at the bottom

The days are hot, and the nights are long.
The mood is depressing, and the appetite's gone.
Motivation is lacking, the strength ain't there.
The question is same as always, do you still care?

You know your mistakes, I'm well aware of mine.
Both of us knew, that this was the time.
We had to let go, bid not our last goodbyes
But only a "see you later" with tears in my eyes

With our last words still fresh on my mind
Lost in my own grief, yet I know it will only take time
Give me strength to move on, I pray I won't forget
the love that we had, none of it will ever be a regret.

I still think of you, once or twice every night.
what are you up to, and are you alright?
I know better than to contact you, because what good would it do
than to stir up old feelings, I'm still attracted to you.

They tell me I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Yet I'm still waiting for that day, when it no longer brings me pain.
Stay strong, they say. Shine bright, they say.
I hope I can finally get some sleep tonight, and I'll keep waiting for the next day.

And slowly you realize

...there is more fighting than laughter. More questioning of why you never have time for me. More of why do I feel like you don't want to spend time with me. Less of the little things. Less love. Less emotion. How much longer can it take until you break and realize you can't take it anymore. Tell me. It hurts so much to write this and to think of it on a daily basis. Why me? Why us? Why can't I just be happy and accept the change? I just cause pain to you. When will be the final straw?!