Twitter-free

Today is my second day without twitter, and I am surviving. Although I reactivate it within hours of deactivating it, I have not tweeted. Deleted all apps on my phone, on google chrome browser, contact list... Doing everything it takes, until I am fully recovered.

We talked last night and it felt good to clear some things up. Although the scars are still there, at least there's an understanding between ourselves. We are still wounded, the road to recovery is slow, but we'll get there eventually. I'm excited for this weekend. Just nothing planned but us time. To figure out what we want to do, where we want to go, making up for lost time, healing those scars. I hope it will be good.

No longer an outlet

I just delete my twitter and I already feel my bottled up emotions that need to be expressed. It was no longer healthy for me to tweet such negative things and to hurt others. Maybe now I'll start to write in my diary again, a medium once used to express my thoughts. And I guess since I have my blog app on my phone I can express my at the moment feelings. Maybe I'll eventually reactivate my twitter again but for right now, I want to be free from those thoughts. I don't want to know what the world is thinking. Maybe it'll help me talk to actual people on how I feel about certain things. I hope it's for the best.


Just cruise along the pch for an hour to clear my thoughts. It feels good to watch other people be happy and enjoying life. It makes me happier. There's something about the ocean and beach breeze that makes me able to recollect my thoughts. Sometimes you have to lose a bit of yourself to figure out who you are. I hope I get there soon. Here's to happier day and healthier habits.

I don't think

We should be together anymore. It's not the same. We've changed and are too completely different people...I can't handle this pain. I simply don't care enough

And slowly you realize

...there is more fighting than laughter. More questioning of why you never have time for me. More of why do I feel like you don't want to spend time with me. Less of the little things. Less love. Less emotion. How much longer can it take until you break and realize you can't take it anymore. Tell me. It hurts so much to write this and to think of it on a daily basis. Why me? Why us? Why can't I just be happy and accept the change? I just cause pain to you. When will be the final straw?!

Turnaround

I can honestly say life has been on the rise this week. I hit rock bottom with my emotions last week and now that summer weather is upon us, my mood has soared. No more crying to sleep, no more angry tweets, I'm on that high and I don't plan to come down for a while.

This week is going to be extremely busy; I actually pulled out my agenda and started filling out my days simply because it was too hard to keep track. Early nights and early mornings, macarons, movies and chill breeze. I definitely caught that summer-itis, only 4 more weeks to go.

I finally saw my boothang this weekend and it was a nice reunion. We just ate. And sat next to each other. And took silly Instagram pictures. Before the craziness of our lives catches up on us. Good luck with finals this week, babe.

Summer days mean summer outfits. Finally breaking out the rainbows and shades and high waisted shorts, crop tops and bandeaus. Spending time getting ready for school and going out,, ditching classes to sleep/study. Life is good.

I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine
I got a love and I know it's all my own.

It's a Demi Lovato kind of night.

I'm a warrior

Now I've got thicker skin

I'm a warrior

I'm stronger than ive ever been

And my armor, is made of steel, you cant get in

I'm a warrior

And you can never hurt me again

Out of the ashes,I'm burning like a fire

You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar

I've got shame, I've got scars

That I'lll never show

I'm a survivor

In more ways than you know

Cause all the pain and the truth

I wear like a battle wound

So ashamed so confused, I'm not broken, or bruised

Now I'm a warrior

Now I've got thicker skin

I'm a warrior

I'm stronger than I've ever been

And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in

Im a warrior

And you can never hurt me again

How do you make up for lost time?

How can you make up the most important times of your life?
How can you take back all the time you weren't able to spend with someone?
How can you remake those memories?
How do you erase those feelings of loneliness and neglect?
How do you show her she's still the most important person in the world when you can't give her a second of your time?

I'm in a clingy sad mood right now. I don't need a man to make me right, yet these thoughts keep coming up to mind.