Some days I'll be fine, and some days you'll randomly pop into my head. And then I can't get you out no matter how hard I try. I wallow in thoughts of us at our peak, full of love for each other. I think about all the times we go out, as a couple. To your friends parties back home, to my parties in LA, and movies, and eating, to sleepovers at your place, staying out late at night past midnight, to chilling with nothing better to do than laugh at ourselves...where did those times go. I really miss it and I miss talking to you. But I know nothing good will come out of it. I know I have to be strong, especially because people will talk. and I know they've already begun talking. I'm weakest when it comes to rumors, I don't have a strong shell no matter how hard I try. But I know I have to keep my mouth shut and keep things simple. People just want to gossip but we're not going to give them a reason to talk. Cause at the end of the day, we know what went down and we know ourselves best.
When I get sad at the fact we aren't together anymore, I think about what my mom tells me. "Nguoi nao phai co du nhan duyen thi moi den, khi het nhan duyen hay khong du nhan duyen, nguoi ay se di." Basically there are multiple causes in our lives and our past lives that lead us to where we are today. If you are predestined to be with someone, then there will be multiple causes drawing you two together, and if not, we shouldn't fight it. Maybe we weren't meant to be, maybe we were. The law of causality tells us to not hold a grudge onto things that didn't work out because everything is always changing. We should just go with the flow, keep an open mind and accept the present. I've accepted the fact already, but I do admit, a part of me is still holding on, which I think is normal. I'll get thru this.
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