Pet Peeve?

So...it's been one week since my birthday. And I don't mean to be self-centered or spoiled or anything, but where's my birthday present?! :( 

That is all I shall post. I started typing a bunch of other things, but I decided to delete it.

Wahhhh, I hope you're not neglecting me.

Now how about that Michael Kors, ehh? :)

Being a girlfriend

Being a girlfriend is not just about being beautiful and attractive for your guy. It's not just about letting him chase you, letting him do sweet things every time you're mad at him and not just receiving flowers and gifts during your anniversaries. It's not about doing those girly things just to get his attention and not just about feeling mighty every time he did everything you want. It's also being an emotional partner wherein you support him in every opportunity that he takes, you appreciate everything that he does for you and you thank him for doing it, you remind him on the things he must do and what he must not. Just because you know that you can always keep him on his feet doesn't mean you can manipulate him. You understand him not just as a partner but as a individual too. You help him in every way showing him, that in a relationship, there's no "I" or "you", there's only "we" and "us". You know also that a man has their ego, and even when it becomes a little irritating sometimes, you still understand that it's a part of his nature. A girlfriend is just not a term, it also has responsibilities that every girl must know. You're a friend, a sister, a second mom, a teacher and a best friend.

I'm sorry I haven't been at my best for you lately. I've been accustomed all my life to getting exactly what I wanted that sometimes I forget you are human too. That you have your own goals, plans, worries, ideas... I know I don't say this often enough that I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I didn't think it through. I know you have to deal with all of my bullshit too. I know you get tired of it, I get tired of myself sometimes. But I can't help picking out your every fault. I try not to, but it seems I tend to do that with everyone. Some days it'll be good and then other days, I like to hurt. I'm sorry dear. It'll get better, I hope so. We can get through this together.

I'll never chase away the rain

I fucked up, didn't I? Can I take back all those texts, all the words, feelings and thoughts that went on earlier today? I seriously feel like shit. At first, I was the one pissed because you weren't responding, and then you got even more upset. And even now, you're still upset, and I'm not quite sorry. My roommate once told me, "Are you guys okay? I feel so bad, you guys always seem to be fighting. Why can't you just be happy? Why can't you just appreciate each other" and I said I didn't know. I think I am extremely hard to please. I try to hold back some of my words and thoughts but sometimes they get the best of me. And sometimes, they get the best of you. And then it gets messy. And then I think you deserve way better than me. Why do we go through this endless cycle. My thoughts are all jumbled up right now. I'm sure they can make you feel better. Better than me, i'm the one who always has to kill your buzz. Why? Why do I bring you down, why can't I be happy when you're happy. Why can't I be appreciative of what I have instead of constantly pushing you away. I think it's my human nature to push everyone who's good to me away simply because I want to hurt them. I don't know why. I want to stop, but it always comes up. Maybe it's not meant to be. I want to be in the happy relationship but quite frankly, I don't know if i'm happy right now. I don't know if i'll ever make you happy.